| 11.12.2009 |
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| If he fails to find another job in soccer, former Germany and Bayern Munich coach Juergen Klinsmann may have to consider alternative employment, perhaps as a motivational speaker. He has made a good case for himself in this arena this week by launching a scathing attack on beleaguered Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez. Klinsi could travel around slagging off the incumbent coaches in club boardrooms all around the world. Chairmen will gather to hear Klinsi tell them what is so obviously beyond their understanding, perhaps after a nice shiatsu massage or an hour's meditation. Klinsi could reveal the many flaws of the coaches and inspire the club's hierarchy to harness their inner power and sack the boss. After a closing session of primal scream therapy, Klinsi will depart knowing that another club has been saved from mediocrity – while dropping his CV and business card at reception when he leaves. Klinsi's motivational skills may be just what Liverpool owners George Gillett and Tom Hicks need to refocus. After spending the last two seasons fighting with each other and with a myriad of international banks in an effort to keep their badly thought-out investment vehicle afloat, Klinsi could help them see the light. Liverpool will never be the cash-cow they hoped it would be with Benitez at the helm. Best thing you can do is send the Spaniard packing. Once Benitez is safely on the Easyjet plane, Klinsi can then inspire Gillett and Hicks to believe in themselves again and trust their judgment. Remember when you thought a certain German coach would be the answer to your problems? Well, he can be again! And no, I'm not talking about Markus Babbel… Just listen to Klinsi's lists of Liverpool's failings; lack of pace, lack of creativity and passing ability, lack of a second world-class striker, no consistency or quality. Don't you just want to sack Benitez too?! How does he do it? The man's a genius. Germany would never have made it to third at the 2006 World Cup without Klinsi's insight and gift of the gab. And Bayern Munich would surely have been lower than third in the Bundesliga when he departed had he not talked to his players in soothing tones about chi and their place in the universe. If Gillett – who is a huge Klinsmann fan already – and Hicks book a few motivational sessions with the great man himself in the next few months, who could rule out that Klinsi's planned return to football after the 2010 World Cup won't be at Anfield? Given Liverpool's current form and position, the Americans would give their right hands for a bunch of Buddhist statues and a third-placed finish. |
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