| 21.09.2008 |
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| Most teams have a theme song they blast out in the dressing room before they take the field in a bid to get the blood pumping. Former England defender Stuart Pierce used to subject his fellow Nottingham Forest colleagues to "Anarchy in the UK" by the Sex Pistols at ear-splitting volume before they took to the field of play. (Given that team included the young lunatic-to-be Roy Keane and old "Psycho" Pierce himself – the man who once tried to 'run off' a broken leg – maybe something less confrontational may have been more productive). Bayern Munich are more likely to adopt the Monty Python classic "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" after Saturday's debacle. However, the likes of Luca Toni and Franck Ribery may not see the motivational qualities of such a song, played at them as it would be with the additional sunny, post-California smile of their ever optimistic coach. "It's obviously painful. We're down at the moment, but we'll get back up again," said Juergen Klinsmann after his defending champions were ripped apart by a Werder Bremen side brimming with all the invention and belief the Munich team seemed to be lacking. "I believe you learn a great deal from days like today." Hmmm…Maybe lessons such as "the defense is extremely suspect" or "never let your stalwart goalkeeper retire until you have an equal to replace him" or even "working as a soccer consultant with LA Galaxy beats getting your ass whipped on a chilly Bavarian afternoon". One wonders how long the hard-bitten and notoriously cut-throat Bayern board will entertain Klinsmann's La-La-Land guru approach, with his Buddhas, meditation gardens and hokey psychological team talks. True, this appears to be a one-off calamity; a defeat that a team of Bayern's standard should see as an abomination. But losing to one of your closest rivals is one thing, getting thrashed at home by them is another…and in such a fashion which suggests that, despite the abundance of riches at his disposal, Klinsmann has yet to construct a team from his list of stars. Let's just look at those potential lessons that Bayern could learn from this humiliation. Firstly, Bayern's defense were overwhelmed on Saturday. Klinsmann's chosen 5-3-2 formation gave Phillip Lahm and Christian Lell the license to bomb up the wings and join the attack when Bayern were on the offensive but on Saturday, both seemed off the pace and left Demichelis, Van Buyten and Lucio exposed at the back. Bremen also bypassed Marc van Bommel and Ze Roberto -- the protectors of the defense -- with ease, leaving them stranded up field with their rapid attacks when Bayern lost possession. With Demichelis effectively left as the only center-back and Van Buyten and Lucio pulled into wide positions by the width of Bremen's attacks and the AWOL nature of their wing-backs, it was no surprise that Werder, with their tails up, skipped through the defensive holes. Secondly, it became very clear as the game wore on that Michael Rensing is no Oliver Kahn. One must ask, though, if even the Titan would have been able to cope with the onslaught of Bremen's offensive play, given the fact that the defenders looked to be suffering from Oktoberfest-related amnesia when it came to the game plan. Even so, the young keeper was at fault for at least two of the goals; handing Nando an easy tap in for the 2-0 and then dropping Diego's cross for Rosenberg to make it five with the easiest of chances. Maybe, Klinsi's first act as coach should have been to convince Kahn to stay on for one more campaign. Which leads us to our third lesson; the one regarding the coach himself. The sheer cavalier approach with which Werder Bremen started the game was audacious and one that any coach could have been surprised by. Who would have expected a team which had yet to show much of their renowned attacking style to come to the Allianz Arena and play with such abandon? Well, some one who gets paid a large salary at Germany's top club for one. Klinsmann's team and formation smacked of arrogance –- or worse, naivety. Maybe Klinsi's Bayern tenure will finally add some much-needed credence to those long-standing rumors that Jogi Loew was the tactical brains behind their Germany set-up. Motivation and a sunny disposition can only get a team so far. Klinsmann may have the tools to get his players in a more centered, balanced frame of mind but he now has to find a way to get them working as a team and singing from the same song sheet. Altogether now… "Life's a piece of sh*t…When you look at it…Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true…You'll see it's all a show…Keep 'em laughing as you go…Just remember that the last laugh is on you…And... Always look on the bright side of life…" |
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